We, all of us, go around looking for others to satisfy our needs and wants. We want our spouses to be more attentive or more romantic. We want the guy on the freeway to pay attention to where we are and to give us our due. We want our boss to like and praise us. We want our mothers to love us or validate us. And the list goes on.

Other people in our lives are simply mirrors for us. We project on to them our own pictures, our own needs and wants and stories. I believe this idea was originated by Carl Jung. The wonderful thing about this idea is that absolutely everyone we come into contact with can provide us with incredible self- knowledge and awareness if we only choose to look.

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Quantum Goal Setting Group Coaching, September 5th thru September 26th, four weeks of group coaching around building the life you want to live. Past coachees have had big successes with changing jobs, finding a job, changing careers, buying a business, starting a business, creating wellness, better life balance, discovering their desires, and more. Tuesdays, both a morning and evening class available, in the Montrose area of Houston. Coaching for only $99! To register, go to http://www.lifeunfolds.com/quantumgoalsetting. htm

And if you are in the Houston area, check out the great workshops at Wild Heart Art at http://www.wildheartart.com. Kay Kemp has added a number of new workshops for the fall.

I just returned from a solo camping trip out of state in Santa Fe, New Mexico and thereabouts. I talked with lots of folks before and during my trip, some I know and some new faces. The most common reaction from everyone was "You're camping/traveling alone??!!!" Some thought it was not safe and some thought I would be bored. Some could not even fathom why I'd ever do that by myself. As in, what fun is that?!

This was not my first solo camping trip, nor my first solo travel. I love to camp and I love to do it alone. I'm happy when others want to join me, but if the only way I get to camp is by myself, that's great with me. I also travel alone, eat out alone, go to movies alone, well, you get the picture. I am married, but we don't always like the same activities. And he's not always available when I am ready to do something. Same with friends and family.

Often, entrepreneurs throttle the forward movement of their businesses because they are afraid of being overwhelmed. Overwhelm may take the form of too many hours worked, having to do too many thing that are unpleasant, unable to take off work, too many demands, etc. It is important to recognize that this is what may be keeping you back, if it's true for you. Fortunately, there are ways to overcome and work with this fear.

I was hanging out in our local library a few weeks ago and found this incredible book on their used book sale table. It is "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up" by James Hollis, Ph.D. I was already familiar with Dr. Hollis as he is the Executive Director of the C. G. Jung Educational Center here in Houston, Texas. He is a Jungian analyst also.

The book, for me, is one of those that is totally meaningful at this point in my life. I've underlined almost every sentence! It uses Carl Jung's concepts, but explains them for the lay person in easy to understand and apply terms. It's not just psychological, because Jung's work also delved into the spiritual and the metaphysical. And even though he uses the term soul, it is not in the religious sense. It's not a quick, easy read, because it is deep and profound.

The chapters include titles such as:

• How Did We Get To This Point
• Becoming Who We Think We Are
• The Collision of Selves
• Barriers to Transformation
• The Dynamics of Intimate Relationship
• The Family during the Second Half Of Life
• Career versus Vocation
• Recovering Mature Spirituality in a Material Age
• The Healing of the Soul

See the quotes from the book in the Quotes section of the newsletter.

"A life that constricts meaning wounds the soul. How often have I sat with couples who profess good intentions toward each other, but whose archaic agendas continue to impose themselves on each other. When I ask them, "How much do you want to live with a depressed, angry, reluctant partner?" each quickly responds that they desire the contrary. Yet their own actions, driven from hidden sources, create precisely that fractious, reluctant partner they dread. Relationships that are supposed to make both partners larger so often diminish both. The soul of each is constricted and expresses itself through the familiar pathologies of daily discord." -- James Hollis in Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

"What brings us to our various dark woods is frequently interpreted as an external violation of the soul, an intrusion on a smoothly flowing life, whether from the acts of others, from the fates, or by our own choices. yet just as often, inexplicably, it is the soul itself that has brought us to that difficult place in order to enlarge us, to ask more of us than we planned on giving. Only by attending the wounding of the soul, as well as learning to align our choices with its mysterious correctives, can we actively cooperate with this imperious summons to healing. Whatever we do to avoid the question of soul will prolong our reliance on the detritus of the old life, and the meaninglessness of its suffering. Only through making the meaning of that suffering and its agenda for spiritual enlargement conscious, can we ever emerge from the dark wood." -- James Hollis in Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

"At each critical juncture of choice, one may usefully ask: "Does this path enlarge or diminish me?" Usually, we know the answer to that question. We know it intuitively, instinctively, in the gut. Choosing the path that enlarges is always going to mean choosing the path of individuation (becoming more nearly the whole person we were meant to be)." -- James Hollis in Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

"There is always a "logical" connection between a surface symptom (depression, procrastination, stress, dysfunction,etc.) or pattern and a historic wounding to the soul." -- James Hollis in Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

"Not to consciously choose a path guarantees that our psyche will choose for us, and depression or illness of one form or another will result. Yet to move into unfamiliar territory activates anxiety and ambiguity. The capacity to accept this troubled state, abide it, and commit to life, is the moral measure of our maturity....Faced with such a choice, choose anxiety and ambiguity, for they are developmental, always, while depression is regressive. Anxiety is an elixir, and depression is a sedative. The former keeps us on the edge of our life and the latter in the sleep of childhood." -- James Hollis in Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

Read more articles and get more fr*ee resources in both my blogs:

Mid-Life Unfolds Blog

Solo Biz Buzz Blog .