Do your finances seem like a black hole?  Money comes in, maybe even lots of it, but it gets sucked into nowhere and you’re not sure how it happened?   This may occur for lots of reasons, but the biggest is biting off more than you can pay for.  Another way of saying that is not living below your means. For example:

1.                  Buying a new car when a used one is good enough.

2.                  Purchasing a bigger, more expensive house thinking your income will go up fast enough to cover the expense.

3.                  Paying for services such as housecleaning, yard maintenance, child care, club memberships, computer site fees, etc.

4.                  Expensive, exotic vacations

5.                  Charging everything from groceries to clothing to home remodeling on your credit card.

Being self-employed or being salaried but getting big bonuses increases your risk for over-committing.  You believe you can afford something because you have the money right now, but don’t remember that next month’s income may be much less or you may not get a bonus next year.  

But the biggest contributor to biting off more than you can pay for is not knowing the true state of your money flow.  Lots of people say, but I don’t spend that much money.  They may think or feel that because they are comparing themselves to others or to some ideal way of living.  Do you know to the penny, okay, at least to the nearest dollar, what your fixed and discretionary expenses are each month?  Do you have a spending plan for your fixed expenses that only come once a year such as auto insurance, property taxes, home insurance, etc.?  Do you have a spending plan for the big discretionary expenses that only come once a year such as birthday and holiday gifts, vacations, seasonal clothing, etc.? 

So what do you do?

For starters, if you don’t already know where your money goes, write down every penny you spend for a month.  This will give you an idea of your daily discretionary spending.  Is it going towards lattes, cokes, donuts, clothes, or  lunches at work?  Then comb through your bills, checkbooks, credit card statements.  The idea is to build an accurate picture of your entire financial life…what comes in, what goes out, what do you have stored (savings, investments, assets).  This is not fun, just necessary. 

You may have to face some hard truths about your spending, but it is the first step to gaining control.  And gaining control, I promise you, will vastly improve the way you feel.  Having debt and finances that are out of control, or even that just don’t meet your own goals, wears on you, making you moody, irritable, worried, fearful, and may even affect your health.    

Next month’s newsletter will look at ways to economize on these expenses.

If you feel overwhelmed at your financial situation, I can help.  Please contact me here for a free consultation.    I also have a money workshop starting in January that will help you gain financial integrity, financial intelligence and financial independence. 

Yes and No Practice  

Who would have thought we needed practice with these two little words.  But these two little words run the world!  The use of the words “yes” and “no” are usually reactions.  With little or no thought, we answer “yes” or “no” to something we’ve been asked or requested to do.  It often is a habit for some people.

If you are someone who likes to be in control, who has or wants personal power, or who may be a little inflexible, you may say “no” a lot more often than you think.  Saying “no” can be your way of being in control of a given situation.  It can also be a way of expressing dislike for someone or some thing or even getting back at someone.   It also can be a way of expressing healthy boundaries, but more often is just a habit.

Try this exercise:  For one day, note how often you say “no”, who you say it to, and about what.  For example, do you say “no” a lot to your wife, to your children, to one particular co-worker, or to friends?  Is it always about asking for your time, or when someone else offers a suggestion on where to eat?  Review what you noticed.   Then try not saying no for one whole day, instead say yes.  Is it hard to do?  Easy?  How do you feel when you say “yes” instead?   The idea is to become more aware of your use of these reactions to other people.  

Are you a timid or easy-going person?  Do you generally acquiesce to others?  Are you sometimes overwhelmed or out of control?  Saying “yes” can be your way of being nice or your way of getting along with others.  It can also be a way of expressing your (maybe unconscious) belief that you don’t deserve what you want.

Try this exercise:  For one day, note how often you say “yes”, who you say it to, and about what.  For example, do you say “yes” a lot to your husband, to your children, to one particular co-worker, or to friends?  What do you say “yes” to most often?   Review what you noticed.   Then try not saying yes for one whole day, instead say no.  Is it hard to do?  Easy?  How do you feel when you say “no” instead?   The idea is to become more aware of your use of these reactions to other people.  If you find you are using “yes” too often, assertiveness training may help.  There are many fine books on the subject.   

Don’t let unconscious habits rule your life.  Bring your habits into your awareness and only keep the truly useful ones that meet your needs.  You’ll be happier and more successful for it!

Upcoming Workshops and Events

Your Money Or Your Life Workshop – A Boot Camp for Your Financial Life. 

Start your new year off right.  Make 2005 THE YEAR you finally get your finances in order.  This is an incredible program designed to give you the three FI’s, financial integrity, financial intelligence and financial independence.   Be free of money worries, money stress and money fear.   Are you saving for retirement, saving for your big dream, digging your way out of debt, lost your job, preparing for a windfall?  Then this class is for you! 

It will be held one Saturday a month for half a day, in January, February and March.  We call it a boot camp because it will require your time and your active participation both in and out of class.  We’ll make it fun and guarantee you get your money’s worth!  Not only do you get the incredible workshop, but between classes, you’ll get email support and weekly phone check-ins.   You’ll also get a free book, Getting a Life by Jacqueline Blix and David Heitmiller as well as lots of handouts and supporting material.  We want you to succeed! 

The class starts January 22^nd, 2005 .  The cost is $195 if you register by January 17^th.  The cost is $225 if you register after that date and we’re offering a deep discount of $175 if you are a former student in any of our workshop classes and you register early.  There is also a 20% discount for couples.  Dorothy Stafford and I will be co-leaders for the class.  This workshop is based on the popular program, Your Money Or Your Life, by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin.

If you would like to receive this newsletter, click here.  

Wishing you joy, peace and health,

Mary Anne Fields

Life Coach, Trainer, & Speaker